so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
