i need an iv and a liver transplant
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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