ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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