no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
