If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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