U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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