Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
youre lurking in front of me
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize