you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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