For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
