I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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