After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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