Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
pop tarts are not kleenex
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
