he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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