does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize