I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I love you. Go after that dick
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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