her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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