it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
