kristin has been a bad kristin
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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