i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
