we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize