it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
