We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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