idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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