It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
