so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
