i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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