Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
