just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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