but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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