rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
