i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
