idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Dicks are not precious.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
