I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize