im gay
i know
yea but for you.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
