I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
