Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
