yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
