I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
