i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize