is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
