The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
