you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
