i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
