If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I will pee on everything he values.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
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