it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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