I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
