Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I will be naked everywhere
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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