im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
