He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
