i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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