"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm too high and old for this...
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
