This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
