$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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