:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
