bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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