Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I love having hate sex.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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