Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
