Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
