can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
