508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
