This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
