All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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