I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
