Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
