You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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