i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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