What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
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