Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize