i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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