he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
